I started dating Derek in 1999. We were two friends working at The Black Dog. I helped him through his grandpa’s death and his mom’s fight with breast cancer. Somewhere in between, we fell in love.
If you have ever been in the same room with us, you would know we seem to be complete opposites.
- Derek was a junior hockey player, I was vegan.
- I was in post secondary, Derek wasn’t even sure he technically graduated from high school.
- I am a book nerd, Derek likes to work with his hands.
- I was pierced and tattooed, Derek had three small tattoos (a whole other story)
The one thing that always keeps us together are our values and core beliefs.
Both of us knew we wanted to be parents. This was one of the first conversations we had as a couple. In order to do this, we got engaged, married, bought a house, put money in savings and got jobs with benefits. We had a common goal and wanted to be prepared to bring a child into the world.
This is us.
I have a lot of friends with different values.
- Friends that don’t want to have kids
- Friends that don’t want to get married
- Friends that don’t want to be in committed relationships
- Friends that want to have children
I know I have missed people and situations but, I am sure you get the picture.
The weirdest thing that I heard lately was someone say “We just want to have a kid right now, we are not ready for a commitment like marriage”.
Have you ever been around a toddler? Do you know how hard it is to raise a child? Do you understand that raising a child is a commitment? One that can be a hell of a lot harder than a marriage?
I am having a hard time with this one.
Is this why I get asked a million questions from kids? Little T is your daughter right? Is Derek her daddy? Do you live together? Do you have any other kids? Do they live with you? Have you been divorced? Are you married?
It’s almost like being a married couple who have a planned child is crazy.
I am not saying that every family/couple should fit a traditional mold but, I think common values and beliefs should be the core of your relationship.