I’m Independently Awesome


I took down my online dating profiles last week. Did I meet someone? Well, I met a lot of people, but no, I’m still single.

The past 5 months have been hilarious, sad, fun and frustrating at the same time. In the beginning, I was beyond flattered that I was getting messages and that men were interested in me at all. Even the 25 year-old with MILF fantasies.

I went out on dates and they were always entertaining.

1) Guy With the Same Name as My Ex

We met on POF and went out for lunch together. He was late, but was nice about it. At the end, he kissed me. It was great.

We saw each other a couple more times and we got along really well. He was a single dad so it was nice to talk to someone who could relate to me.

Turns out, I wasn’t the only person he was seeing and he wasn’t up front with that. Not cool.

2) The Poet

I got a message from him on POF saying that he recognized me from Twitter. We ended up meeting in person when I was doing random acts of kindness on Jasper Ave.

We dated for a few months and then some information came to light that was a deal breaker for me. It was hard to say goodbye, but it was the right decision.

3) Sweat Pants Guy

I met him for coffee after he had a job interview. He was wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt and runners. He proceeded to tell me that I shouldn’t worry about my weight because he usually dates women over 350 pounds and followed up by telling me that his roommate was actually his mom.

I left the date and let him know I just didn’t feel any sparks. He responded by asking me if I wanted to have some “good, clean adult fun”. I declined and wished him good luck. A few hours later, he send me 12 unsolicited dick pics. 12 you guys, 12. Some of the pictures even had women in them. *shudder*

4) Fake Accent Guy

FAG and I hit it off by talking about spirituality, meditation, universal truth and the main differences between pain and suffering. Very cool stuff to connect over for sure.

After a week or so, he asked if he could come visit me and take a shower. I didn’t think much about it. He came over, we talked for hours and he was very conscious of smelling like cigarette smoke. I figured that’s why he wanted to take a shower. Turns out, he is living out of his touring van as he’s waiting to be placed in a camp for his job.

We still talk, but nothing romantic came out of it.

5) Squirrel Eater

Squirrel eater literally eats squirrels. He’s a super outdoors guy who likes to walk into the woods, build a fire and use wood to build a lean to. He also has a whole ‘end of the earth’ survival kit in the middle of nowhere. It includes ammunition, guns, canned food, generators, clothing and in the future, he’s adding a vehicle.

Bit of a mismatch here. Although we got along well and liked the same music, I appreciate Starbucks and vacations in five star hotel rooms more than sleeping on dirt and campfire coffee.

6) Food Truck Guy

FTG and I ended up taking for hours the first time we met. We had a lot in common and there were no awkward moments or pauses.

On our next date, I challenged him to make me an epic grilled cheese sandwich and he delivered. Yes, the way to my heart is through grilled cheese.

After a really honest talk, we realized we had much different expectations of what a relationship looks like right now. He’s a great guy and we’re still friends.

And these were the guys I went out on dates with. You could only imagine the amount of time and energy went into conversations, text messages and phone calls. Let’s just say that I started cringing a before clicking on a link, video or photo, but that’s fodder for another blog post.

I’ve learned a lot about myself in this process. It’s helped me define who I am as well as what I’m looking for. What I do know is that I need to refocus. Spend my energy on myself, my kids, my job and my friends.

Online dating was a great distraction, but that’s what it was- a distraction. Maybe I’ll reactivate my profiles in a couple of weeks and maybe I won’t. I’m just going to take things day by day and be happy and content with what I do have. My life is pretty damn fabulous after all.

I’ve also decided that instead of saying I’m single, I’m going to say I’m independently awesome. It fits me better.

  • Kristina Vyskocil

    Oh. my. Were all of these guys from POF? If so, have you considered using a different dating service? I was considering setting up an online dating profile, and still might, but definitely not on POF…

    • JenBanksYEG

      I was on POF, OKCupid and Match. I liked Match way better than the others although it’s a paid site. Maybe it’s a case where you get what you pay for :)

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