When I was 20, I went out on a date with a guy named Billy. This date was odd because IT WAS A REAL DATE. He wanted to take me out for supper and everything.
We went to Earl’s and we had some fairy light and somewhat awkward conversation. After we ate, he took me back to his basement suite in his parent’s house where we listened to music and talked about books. He dropped me off at my house and we didn’t even try to kiss me. At the time, I thought he was such a gentleman. Turns out, I was wrong. He never called me again.
Months later, I saw him at the bar and asked him why he never called. His exact words- “You are too intimidating for me”.
What the hell does that even mean? Intimidating.
Oh perfect. I scared the shit out of the guy (not really a loss anyway, my cat didn’t like him).
Worst part? I hear this ALL OF THE TIME.
Am I intimidating? Why do I keep hearing this? Especially from friends who are considering introducing me to guys to date. How many times have I heard “I would introduce you to this guy, but you’re really intimidating?”.
Let’s take a closer look at me:
- I am a single mom of two beautiful little girls.
- I am a partner in a successful business
- I own my own house and vehicle.
Wait. This reminds me of something…
The shoe on my feet, I’ve bought it. The clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it. The rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it. ‘Cause I depend on me.
If I wanted the watch you’re wearin’, I’ll buy it. The house I live in, I’ve bought it. The car I’m driving, I’ve bought it. I depend on me, I depend on me.
All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me. All the honey’s who makin’ money, throw your hands up at me.
Thank you Destiny’s Child.
Back to the task at hand:
- I’m smart and well read.
- I’m speak my mind.
- I’m stand up for causes that are close to my heart
- I know a lot of people and have a lots of friends.
- I’m very outgoing.
As a whole, I’m a strong, independent woman who has worked hard to be where I am. Are men honestly attracted to women who know less, make less and have less than them? Do men have to provide for a woman to make a relationship work?
I want a relationship where I’m an equal. I admit that I walk through life wearing rose coloured glasses, I’m a dreamer and an optimist, but this shouldn’t be too much to ask. I want someone who loves my strength, my brain and my independence. Someone who can handle being challenged intellectually and doesn’t just sit and wait for things to happen. I want someone who makes me more awesome and I will, in turn, make them more awesome.
I’m a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t going to settle. Maybe this is intimidating. Quite frankly, I’m over caring about it. Some might call me intimidating, but I think I’m more of an acquired taste. Much like my love for blue cheese.